I enjoy observing human behaviour when the cloying whiff of obscene amounts of money is in the air. Over the past few days the radio station I’m forced to listen to at work has had callers talking about what they’d do with $90 million if they won this week’s lottery bonanza.
So far, all the dreams [...]
I was at home last Friday afternoon, having a marvellous time lounging in my slippers and housecoat while eating bon bons and watching Bold and the Beautiful.
The phone rang. It was a good Samaritan (are there any bad ones?), who I’ll call A, telling me he saw a woman I work with, B, parked on [...]
I tell you what, we have banded together like a pack of hyenas discussing the allocation of a felled gazelle. And with less blood!
The next step was the Kris Kringle. I drew a name out of the envelope of a new person I haven’t met who has a unisex name.
“I do not know this person. [...]
Today’s idiot, a man from Brisbane, is in hospital being treated for severe burns after trying to destroy a nest of ants by setting it on fire.
It would be hard to find a person who hasn’t witnessed a, “Gee, that was close, how’s your eyebrows, mate?” moment with someone trying to torch an ants nest, [...]
The not playing well with others theme continues to the joy of everyone in my path. Stella the horoscope lady on the radio said we’re in the grip of a very powerful full moon and Scorpio is biting Uranus, or something to that effect, and it’s making everyone a bit tetchy. I love astral outsourcing [...]
I don’t know what happened today because I didn’t cross the path of a garlic necklace-wielding black cat that was walking under a ladder, but what a shithouse day for dealing with the other people.
Two old work friends were in the area so I rounded up some colleagues and organised a lunch venue, time and sorted [...]
I’ll start with the droll police officer before touching lightly on the fuckwittery of some people. A news article this week in Sydney featured hoon drivers having their confiscated cars returned early, simply by having their mothers pretend the supercharged boganmobiles belong to them.
Mumsy faces court, tells a sob story of hardship without ‘her’ [...]
I have a crush on Italian judges who have taken the naming of babies into their own hands.
The judges deemed the naming of a couple’s son as “ridiculous” and ordered that baby Venerdi (”Friday” in Italian) be renamed Gregorio, after the saint of his day of birth. The name Venerdi was also associated with “inferiority [...]
The garish ropes of tinsel and plastic Santa-ghoul decorations … I can almost cope with. The green and red-dyed candy cane rawhide chews in the dog food aisle for our canine buddies … I can’t really cope with, but I do say a little prayer that no one buys that shit for their animals. The e-mail advertising [...]
I’m sorry I’m not a barrel of monkeys at the moment. I have been trying to post something smile-worthy but I’m about as funny as an eggy fart during a job interview (and that’s seriously not funny because I ate chilli beans the night before my last interview and concentrating on positive body language was [...]
