My goal for next week was to be wearing a normal person’s shoe for my final surgeon’s appointment on Tuesday, so I rolled out every soft and flat shoe I could find (except the hiking boots I’ve never worn because I don’t hike and don’t know why I bought them) and did a fitting inspired [...]
I hobbled to the city last week for my three-week surgeon’s appointment and he was slightly vexed with my lack of skin sticking together where he slashed me open, but he was excited at the rate of my internal healing. I’m still in the moon sandal and the first attempt at getting a shoe on [...]
During my sussing-out visits to the podiatric surgeon’s office, I eyed off a resplendent blue moon boot sitting on a shelf: an aqua, geometrically squared-off thing from toe to high-calf that holds surgically-altered foot bits in place until they’re all mended again. I wanted one.
I returned to the land of the living on Tuesday [...]
I don’t suffer an over-active imagination and I’m not paranoid, but … I think this upcoming hospital gig for my Gammyfoot-ectomy is a ruse for a black-market organ harvesting operation.
Let me present the evidence:
I have been watching series four of Nip/Tuck and the theme flows around the arrival of the new partner of McNamara/Troy, the [...]
Anyone who knows me is constantly reminded of the fact that my foot hurts a lot and has done so for more than 12 months. Finally, oh finally, after doctors, physiotherapists, podiatrists and special shoes, orthotics and (admittedly pretty good for period cramps) anti-inflammatories, the three reasons for Gammy Foot’s existence have been found:
1. [...]
I received a call last week to progress to the next stage of the recruitment process for a two-week contract (remember the timeframe, because it’s important for the context of the saga). The employer wanted the candidates to attend a medical examination and the agency phoned to give me the details and address for the, [...]
Can you tell I had the steroid injection in my toe joint the other day?
I professed my delicate nature to the receptionist when I presented myself to have Gammy Foot vanquished and knew a giant conspiracy was in place when she said, “Yes, I can’t lie to you, there will be some discomfort*.”
The sonographer [...]
I went back to the doctor’s today to have a good whinge about my gouty toe and fend off snivelling people in the waiting room from sitting within snot droplet spraying distance. I’m not good at hanging out with virus-stricken folk when I’m healthy and I was shitty because I had one of those moments [...]
Owwwwwwwwww (referring to both the pain in my foot — which is indeed gout — and the discomfort you’re experiencing seeing my pisspoor drawing).
The computer hates me and you’ll have to click on the image to enlarge.
Crank-o-meter: how does such a little thing hurt so much?
The good news is that mum’s specialist is 95% certain that all the cancer was removed from her bowel. She will have quarterly check-ups for the next couple of years but he’s content and she seems relieved (though the shock of her looking to have aged a decade in the past month is messing with [...]
