What? I might not get a job because my hearing’s stuffed?
I received a call last week to progress to the next stage of the recruitment process for a two-week contract (remember the timeframe, because it’s important for the context of the saga). The employer wanted the candidates to attend a medical examination and the agency phoned to give me the details and address for the, “20-minute check-up.”
I’m glad I took a book and didn’t have any other appointments on the day because I was gone for four hours and was too delicate of ego to do much afterwards anyway. The summary was that I’m too fat (yep, knew that), my eyesight is shithouse (yep, check) and I have a 20 per cent hearing loss in my left ear? What? No, I didn’t say, “What?” to the doctor who delivered the bad news as that would have been a bad pun, but my reaction was along the lines of, “I had no problems hearing that and you’re fucking kidding me, aren’t you?” He showed me the ear-to-ear comparison and my left ear was under the ‘normal hearing function’ line for every single frequency the nurse tested when I was locked in a large metal box with the cute red and green Mickey Mouse earphones on my head.
Oh. I can’t remember having my hearing tested since my government medical seven years ago but a substantial degradation in hearing in only one ear sounded (ha ha ha) a bit odd. Perhaps I had a bit of button-pressing anxiety because it was the first ear tested and I wasn’t sure if I was hearing real sounds or imagining them to do well in the test. But I don’t have time to appreciate oddness as I need to see my doctor for a referral to an audiologist or whoever tests ears professionally, all before I can be offered the two-week contract supervising a team of people and entering stuff on a computer. I don’t understand why I might need to be the bionic woman with my left ear to do this contract but I’m more than keen to get a definite diagnosis as I’m paranoid that my body’s falling apart quicker than I’m prepared for. I have lost enthusiasm for the role but the day before I said no to another contract because I had already committed to this one, not expecting to possibly fail the damn medical exam.
My hearing is bloody fantastic, I think. I was on the way home from another interview this afternoon and knew I had to stop at the chemist for a thrush treatment because it was hard to concentrate on my interview responses when my girl bits were screaming in raw pain at me (too much information, I know). I whispered my symptoms to the counter assistant, she whispered back about my options and I whispered that I wanted the quickest solution. She handed over a large box with a single tiny tablet of fungus killer and whispered it was quick but more expensive. I yelled, “I had no problems hearing that too! $23.99 for one tablet — you’re joking as well, aren’t you?!”
Crank-o-meter: can you hear me calling for an audiologist?
November 11th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Oh dear MsC! perhaps it was just not being sure about the sounds - Fingers crossed - good luck with the audiologist!
November 11th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
what is it with all these medicals people require lately. I’ve had a couple of friends required to take them for simple jobs such as admin roles. DAFT!
My right ear has worse hearing than my left and my left eye is more out of focus than my right. Old age, here we come
November 11th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
My left ear is still blocked from a cold the other week. I know my hearing isn’t very good anyway. But that is absurd. How does disability discrimination legislation handle these checks?
November 12th, 2009 at 5:08 am
someone is clever - selling pre-employment medicals for short term contract work! Its not as if they will be asking you to do something dangerous to self or others.
Once upon a time before our Common Sense organ atrophied, one worked on the basis that if the job applicant sat in front of you and responded appropriately to your interview questions they could be assumed to have functional hearing.
November 12th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Thanks, HH. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow for a referral — fingers crossed it’s not as bad as it seems!
You’re all crooked, Fen, but we’re an opposing pair as my right eye is weaker and left ear is stuffed ;-).
Foodycat, I don’t know. It’s a fair point because the job doesn’t involve any risks involving noise; it’s more making things happen, talking to people and doing computery things, which I was perfectly fine at a few weeks ago.
It was like a medical sausage factory, The Cat’s Mother, and I’m curious to know what the company ends up being charged: for the two weeks the client wants a total of 30 people, all of whom have done the medical exam.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
fingers in ears - la la la la la laaa
November 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
ARGHHHH!!!! DO NOT PUT ANYTHING SMALLER THAN YOUR ELBOWS IN YOUR EARS!
YES, I’M SHOUTING!