It’s the last day of my thirties today.
I’m a bit scared.
But I don’t know what I’m scared of (obviously not scared of ending a sentence with a preposition).
The invisibility of looming middle age? Missed opportunities? Not living up to expectations? Tits submitting to gravity? Having more opportunities than many but not [...]
I haven’t quite lost the concept of time and still do my laundry on weekends so I know the two days I can open the blinds and front door to allow the sunshine in without risk of door-to-door salespeople pissing me off. I completely forgot about Halloween until I saw pairs of tiny feet scampering [...]
Something that’s been on my mind lately is the conservatism of hosiery designers. For the past few centuries, sock design and construction have changed barely an iota, as Exhibit A demonstrates:
See, I nearly made myself fall asleep. Now, consider Exhibit B, my twenty-first century sock design for the next few hundred years:
Several things [...]
My web hosting expires today and the system won’t allow me to renew. I tried to force a new order for hosting and it said I already had an order (must be invisible) and I needed to contact the sales team. The sales team rep said he coudn’t help me, but if I’d like to [...]
One thing I despise about April is my pending birthday. This year it’s one step away from a large number and therefore is the last birthday I’m choosing to acknowledge. Feel free to send me tried-and-true gout remedies, cash in used notes, Haigh’s chocolate or some of my new favourite things on Cafepress:
Oh yeah, I [...]
Remember the demented reindeer cupcakes I made for a work morning tea?
Remember the date of the morning tea? 18 December 2008.
Last week a workmate came running up to me, saying one of the cupcakes was still alive and well on someone’s desk! The person in question thought it too nice to eat and kept [...]
It’s impossible to describe the shellshock of anyone affected by the bushfires, assisting on site or seeing the ongoing horrors on the news.
The Red Cross, Salvation Army and local organisations and individuals are giving an incredible amount of themselves to those who have lost lives, communities and possessions.
I’m hunting around for animal welfare organisations and [...]
Today’s question is how many bags of mixed pretzels does it take to find enough star shapes to turn into mini-reindeer antlers for a batch of whacky cupcakes?
I know! I know! Pick me, pick me!
Yes, cranky cook?
A fucking shitload!
Or, to be precise, this many.
Stupid pretzel makers should put more than three stars in a mixed [...]
Today’s idiot, a man from Brisbane, is in hospital being treated for severe burns after trying to destroy a nest of ants by setting it on fire.
It would be hard to find a person who hasn’t witnessed a, “Gee, that was close, how’s your eyebrows, mate?” moment with someone trying to torch an ants nest, [...]
